Monday, April 25, 2011

Lemon Cake Frosting & Hope!

"What we have once enjoyed we can never lose. All that we love deeply becomes a part of us."

~ Helen Keller

I'm learning that as I further walk into life as a single mom there are more and more things that I have to not only accept but get used to. I was with Tommy for a long time.

I want to be graceful about this whole process, too. And, why not? I try to be graceful in my role as a mom, friend, teacher, baker and writer that it only makes sense that I'd want to bring this same intention to what I'm going through now. Things do feel right. Yet, it doesn't all feel easy. Because it's not.

In the meantime, it's the holidays that seem the most tricky.Tommy spent Easter morning with the kids and I made dinner then filled Easter baskets that afternoon. It didn't feel entirely graceful partly because I just wanted to be with my kids. I've always been a big part of their holiday morning celebrations, but I also knew they needed some time on the holiday with their Dad so I had to find a compromise.

Luckily, it was a beautiful day on Sunday. It was sunny and sixty down at South Cape Beach. I went on a long walk on my favorite trail.

Keller's words above remind me of so many things that I've once enjoyed. It's nice to be reminded that those things I've loved deeply 'become a part of me'. Because they do. They do for all of us.

For example, I loved when we lived in Dallas at Easter. We had super fun neighborhood Easter Egg Hunts with all the kids from the neighborhood or we'd go to the kids aunts house and share a big meal together. And because I loved these times deeply, even though they're gone, they're now a part of me.

One of my all time favorite memories from the past is when two long time girlfriends and I, one of whom I'd lost touch with for a few years, would walk with our kids on our favorite beach on Outer Cape. We'd write names and words in the sand then take pictures.

When I thought about drawing in the sand all those years ago on my walk I decided to write the word hope. Because this Easter holiday was a reminder that there is always hope.
As for dessert on Easter Sunday, I made dreamy island cookies: my own cookie creation with pecans, coconut and chocolate and lemon cake. Bella took her first bite and said, "Mom, this frosting is amazing!"

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